When a person dies of complications due to alcoholism as my friend did and everyone at the service can figure that out, what do you say at a memorial service?
In my years working with people such as my friend you do see a ‘evil’ to it. Alcoholism is a very terrible experience. During that experience the person afflicted with alcoholism hopes that the ‘good’ will come to the rescue. My friend use to think that he would struggle through to reach the ‘good’ but find that it is also dreadful.
It was as if food itself turns out to be the very thing you can’t eat, and the home the very place you can’t live, and your very comforter becomes the person who makes you uncomfortable. Then one would suppose rescue is not possible and the last card has been played.
Why God did not answer his prayer I have no idea; but then maybe, just maybe, my friend never prayed to be healed of this awful condition. I may never know that. I and others have prayed for him over time, but no change.
Some people are born into economic poverty and die in economic poverty. Some live a life unable to walk. You can drive yourself crazy thinking about if God would only do this or that and things would be so much better. But once again, God has the answer in His word, the Bible.
“What shall we say then? Is there unrighteousness with God? Certainly not! For He says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whomever I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whomever I will have compassion.” So then it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy. 17 For the Scripture says to the Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth.” Therefore He has mercy on whom He wills, and whom He wills He hardens.
You will say to me then, “Why does He still find fault? For who has resisted His will?” But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, “Why have you made me like this?” Does not the potter have power over the clay, from the same lump to make one vessel for honor and another for dishonor?”
I will say good things about this man because he was good. God will always have the glory. He knows my friend more than I could ever desire to.